My comfort
by NighttimePhilosopher
Summary: Jaspidot oneshot for my friend CedeK18. Jasper's thoughts get too heavy to handle, and she unwittingly makes her way to the beach house to find her only friend, Peridot. Comforting aplenty!
Here's a Jaspidot fic for my friend CedeK18 :D Hope u like it! The first bit will probably be retconned in the Summer of Steven, but I needed to make a little backstory, y'know? SPOILERS FOR THOSE NOTORIOUS LEAKS IN THE FIRST BIT AVOID IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED Thankyou

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After the long hassle of getting comfortable with a fusion walking around, Rose Quartz's new form, a pearl who could fight, and a tiny amethyst, the Homeworld gems were finally settling in. Each new gem had different problems with assimilating, but eventually, compromises were made and bonds formed. They weren't Crystal Gems (except Peridot), but they weren't hostile enemies (most of the time).

Peridot was the first, being captured by the Crystal gems, and helping them build the drill to stop the cluster. She proved her worth by calling her former boss a clod.

Lapis, the second, being defeated by Alexandrite when she was still with Jasper as Malachite. She protected Steven (the one who freed her) and Peridot (a former ally/enemy) from a Roaming eye, amongst other things.

Jasper, the last, still not wanting to be around the Crystal Gems, but she had no choice. She didn't get along with anyone, especially Garnet and Lapis Lazuli - her former fusion partner. She also had something against Amethyst, which was thought to be because the younger gem was formed late.

This didn't mean that the other two liked everyone – for a time, Peridot thought Garnet was the worst, and that Pearl was still a servant. Lapis didn't trust anybody but Steven, and even after she opened up a little, she still wouldn't even face Jasper. There was a feeling of dread and despair whenever the two were in the same room as each other.

So life in the Crystal Gem Temple was not very comforting for Jasper. She didn't expect it to be anyway, but it didn't make being trapped on Earth any easier. Pearl and Steven (mostly Steven) had said she could come and go anytime. Jasper took the "go" option most of the time. She didn't like being around an enemy she had fought thousands of years ago and LOST to. They were also the gems responsible for stranding her on this miserable planet. The orange gem found that Lapis Lazuli was also the same; she often saw her taking off with her water wings over the ocean; preferring to stay away from the beach house.

It was night time. Jasper trudged up to the Beach house, which she learnt was the new Crystal gem base; well, it was an improvement made to cater to Steven, the "son" of Rose. The orange gem found that word meant "male offspring". Gems could not breed and bare offspring, but humans and other animals on this planet could. And yet, Steven was a half-gem, half-human hybrid; Rose Quartz's collaboration with a human male. It freaked her out to no end, and every time she saw the youngster, she racked her brain for answers as he smiled and tried to talk about nice, meaningless things with her. The only one she was comfortable with asking was Peridot, who said she didn't exactly know who Rose Quartz was, but the Crystal Gems always talked highly of her. In other words, she had even _less_ of an understanding.

The orange quartz saw Peridot sitting on the couch with the amethyst when she entered the house. They both looked up at her and stopped talking; Peridot looked surprised, and Amethyst looked a little annoyed.

"Oh, you're here!" Peridot squeaked excitedly. She turned to Amethyst and said "Can we talk about this later?" with Amethyst replying "Yeah, sure" and trudging to her room.

She quickly padded up to Jasper, craning her small neck to see her face properly "Y-You're hardly here, why are you here?" she asked, although it sounded like she was worried about Jasper, instead of being happy to see her.

"Why does this sound like an interrogation?" Jasper grunted.

"You just-you're not usually around here unless something bad has happened" Peridot said, looking away.

"I…." Jasper hesitated, wanting to say the truth, but feared losing Peridot's respect. She gauged the gem's reaction, seeing she had changed physically and mentally since joining the Crystal Gems. She didn't know if this new Peridot was easier or harder to talk to. Jasper quickly flicked her head around to see if there were any other gems in the room. None. Good.

"I just need….to talk" she found herself saying. Truthfully, she didn't know what bought her back to this place that she loathed. _Comfort, relaxation, protection._ Three words flashed through her mind.

"Oh…what about?" Peridot asked hesitantly.

Jasper's whole body unexpectedly sagged, and she slumped over to the couch where Peridot and Amethyst were sitting previously. She sat firmly on it, seeming unsure on how to relax. She finally gave up and just put her face on her hands and hunched over.

 _I feel unsafe everywhere I go, and I need somewhere to unwind, somewhere to just sit and think out everything that's happened…._

She sat in silence for a small while, before she heard tiny feet approach her. She felt the plump couch move minusculely as Peridot lifted herself onto it, sitting next to Jasper. They sat there for a moment before Peridot hesitantly placed a comforting hand on Jasper's leg (seeing as it was the only part on the much larger gem she could actually reach). Jasper looked up from the touch.

"What're you doing?"

"I-I'm comforting y-you" Peridot stammered "It's something Steven taught me. D-Do you feel…comforted?"

"I don't know what I feel. Are you sure you're doing it right?" Jasper huffed.

Peridot pulled her hand away "Argh, I don't know, I'm trying, ok?" she growled in annoyance.

Jasper went quiet and resumed staring into her hands, which she rested on her legs. The green gem wanted to take back what she said. _I'm not being very "comforting"! Steven wouldn't act like this! Agh, what do I do?_

Peridot was interrupted from her thoughts "Peridot…" Jasper whispered

She was startled, and looked up at the gem. Jasper seemed afraid to go on.

"Jasper…..what is it?" she tried to encourage the wavering gem.

Jasper breathed heavily. She didn't want the green gem to think she was weak, but here she was, being given the chance to unload. It's what she needed.

"Everything" she paused "is too much" she gulped, swallowing her pride as well as her spit. There was another silence. _Dammit, what was I thinking?! Peridot doesn't need to hear this, she'll probably even laugh at-_

She was pushed slightly as Peridot attached herself to her side. Jasper lifted her beefy arm and looked down at the smaller gem, who seemed to be trying to clinging on and getting as close to Jasper as possible.

"Are you trying to fuse with me, Peridot?" Jasper joked tragically, having spent a year trapped in a fusion at the bottom of the ocean.

"No Jasper, I'm not" Peridot grumbled into Jaspers top. She then pulled her face away and looked into Jaspers confused eyes "I'm giving you a "hug". It's what humans do for their friends and family when they are sad"

"Is it like when you touched me before? Is it a "comfort" thing?" Jasper asked, taking an interest now as it DID in fact make her feel better.

"Yes. Now try getting more comfortable" Peridot instructed. She tried to push Jasper over onto her side; she wanted her to lie down and become more relaxed. Jasper's holographic mass was far heavier than what Peridot could lift, however, and she ended up looking like a green baby monkey hanging off its mother.

Jasper laughed slightly, complying with Peridot's orders and shifting on her side, resting her head on a pillow. She felt a little more relaxed now. Peridot got taken for a ride as she still held onto Jasper's side as she shifted. The smaller green gem ended up on top of Jasper. She felt awkward, invasive, and a little flushed, so she focused on other things "Wow, you take up the whole couch" she remarked, seeing Jaspers legs take up a large part of the sitting furniture.

"I do?" Jasper asked, craning her head to see. She saw her feet go to the end of the couch, which was quite long itself. "This couch is too small" she grumbled, but withheld a small smile. She could almost laugh at this situation. It was so simple; a real break from what she had been experiencing.

Peridot waited a little while before making herself known again. "So, are you more relaxed now?"

Jasper sighed roughly, absent-mindedly staring at picture of Steven, "Garnet", the amethyst, and the pearl "I guess"

"W-What did you want to talk about, then?" Peridot asked carefully. She didn't want to agitate her after getting her comfortable. Jasper could easily sit up and fling her across the room. "You s-said, "Everything is too much". Do you mean…w-with the Crystal gems?" she stuttered nervously.

"Ugh, definitely" Jasper growled "These gems are _backwards_!" She started. Then she hesitated and looked up at Peridot. The young gem considered herself to be a Crystal gem. And by insulting and complaining about the Crystal gems, was she doing so to Peridot too? Peridot was her only friend on earth, her only friend anywhere. She suddenly felt aware of the impact of her words. _I don't want to chase away the only friend I've got. I can't afford to._ She watched the other gems face. _Oh look, now she's looking at me sadly, what have I done?_ Jasper mentally face palmed.

"You sound…..exactly like me" Peridot said quietly, looking away, reflecting "That's how I used to feel, that's what I used to say" she said, not at all sad.

"Huh? Really? I-Is it…..w-what made you change?" Jasper asked, relieved. _I didn't hurt her feelings._ She also suddenly wanted to know more about the new Peridot.

"I thought…..no, I realised, _we_ have it backwards. _Homeworld_ has it backwards, I mean" she said, impassioned "Earth….it's weird, gross and terrifying, but….it's free. It's uncaring, lazy, schedule free!" she flung her arms in the air excitedly, only to lose her balance slightly. She quickly grabbed onto Jasper's uniform to stay sitting on the larger gem. Jasper quickly felt embarrassed at the feeling of the green gem's fingers scrabbling to keep hold of her. "Sorry about that"

"P-Peridot….I thought you needed a schedule to survive" Jasper pointed out. _Who IS this gem?!_

"Oh, yes, well, that was one of the harder things to get used to. In fact, I only got used to it quite recently. Amethyst helps me take time out to relax. But Pearl keeps us in line, too. There is _some_ routine around her, I assure you." She didn't continue because Jasper was rumbling under her. "W-What?!" She yelled, embarrassed.

"Y-You said PEARL keeps you in line, haha!" Jasper openly laughed. She balled a hand into a weak fist and pounded it repeatedly on the couch, trying to control her laughter. "That's the strangest thing I've ever heard!" she covered her mouth, but still kept laughing.

"I-IT'S NOT FUNNY!" the green gem fumed. "Sh-She works really hard, Jasper!" Peridot said in defence of Pearl. The two logical gems did butt heads, but Peridot had found quite a lot of respect for Pearl through her technician and fighting skills, which a pearl could not normally even comprehend. Jasper's laughter died down at Peridot's seriousness.

"O-Oh….I-I see, sorry" Jasper said quietly. _What am I saying? I have to respect her views, even if I find them ridiculous. For Peridot. For my friend._

"Hmm…." Peridot huffed. "Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, schedules. I can function without them now." She settled down again, now sliding out flat on Jasper's muscular side, on her ribcage.

"But I was going to say this before" she started up again. "Earth is better than Homeworld" she felt Jasper stiffen up, and she worried a little. "T-There are things here…..that are precious. Worth…protecting" she said, clinging tighter to Jaspers side, as to reassure her. "Life. The organisms on this planet don't live very long. Some species, like certain butterflies, only live one earth day. That's 24 hours. A second to us gems. And I think that's why Homeworld wrote this planet off" she slowly and carefully buried her hands in Jaspers massive mane, perhaps absentmindedly. "Why they wanted to erase all life and to make a colony instead, well, before the Crystal gems made them change plans. They saw that the life here was weak, or that it wasn't going to do anything important. Anything important that could affect the galaxy, heh. They didn't see it like Rose Quartz did, I'm guessing. Steven says she saw the beauty in everything. Originally, I thought that was stupid. But look at me now, sitting on a Jasper, agreeing with her. Life is beautiful" Peridot sighed.

Jasper had been listening intently the whole time. She didn't know Peridot would have thought it through this much. It was amazing, but it also scared her. She questioned Yellow Diamond and other gem superiors' motives and actions, and agreed with Rose Quartz. But the way Peridot said it was enchanting. It was like getting a look at her mind. She didn't seem to be holding anything back, and that's what made it appealing to Jasper.

"I see why she wanted to protect it" admired Peridot, drowsily resting her head on Jasper's side "It's….innocent. It's precious, it's amazing. There is nothing else like it. Because it lives for such a little time, because it experiences so much in a short life span. Because each different organism, each different creature sees life differently. No two are the same. Like….." she pondered for a moment "Like "Dad" and a small red insect called a "Ladybug"" Peridot said, going into a long explanation, comparing them somehow.

Jasper sat there with the sleepy gem on her side. Listening to her talk, ponder and reflect really calmed Jasper down. It was incredible. She wasn't even listening properly to her now, but it was still lovely to have her idly chatting, and even playing with her hair. She didn't know properly how she got into this position in the first place – lying in an alien's bedroom, or rather just his room, on his couch, with a tiny, cuddly Peridot on her with no regards to personal space whatsoever. She decided to never question things anymore, on this strange planet she was now forced to call home. She was breaking so many Homeworld rules, but she decided to be like Peridot and not care. She didn't have to anymore, whether she liked it or not. She knew also that there were other gems here, ones that did not trust her, that did not like her – and that she felt the same towards them. And she also decided to try and talk to them and make amends, so that she could feel more secure and safe. _That was a major reason in coming here….to feel safe. I could feel safer if I was on better terms with the Crystal gems. We won't like it at first, but then maybe….I can lean on others for support too. Because this is nice. The contact is a little weird, but it is helping me relax. Perhaps they can teach me more "comforting". But yes, I feel better and a little more open to things now….._

"…..although humans CANNOT fly. Don't try to make a human fly Jasper, okay? Jasper?" the orange gem zoned back in.

"Peridot…" she said, ignoring whatever topic the green gem was on "I…..want to try…sleeping…" she said, embarrassed.

"R-Really?" Jasper could hear the smile coming from Peridot. "O-Okay! I'll show you" she said, dropping her recount of pushing Greg off the barn roof.

Peridot clambered down the large orange gem, standing on the exposed couch near her chest. She made a little space for herself, sat down and curled up, and faced Jasper. Jasper thought she looked a little expectant.

"U-Um, if you want the full experience, t-try c-cuddling up close to someone, l-like this" she scooted closer and nestled into Jasper's chest. "I-I-It's more comfy, this w-way, I find" she stuttered. Jasper felt a strange feeling in her chest as the green gem pushed into her. It was like feeling respect for someone, only lighter and happier, if a little more overpowering. She knew she respected Peridot now. When she first saw her again after being Malachite, she had lost that respect because she was with the Crystal gems. It took a while, but it was back again, and even more re-enforced by tonight.

She was bought back to the present by Peridot gently tugging on her arm. "H-Here, put your arm over m-me" Peridot was saying, trying to pull one of Jasper's hands over herself.

"Oh, what? Okay" Jasper said, putting her striped arm protectively around Peridot's small form. Peridot sighed and grabbed a piece of Jasper's uniform in a small hand. The sound made Jasper curve her body slightly, wanting to suddenly be like a shield around the smaller gem. _You've done so much for me, protecting you is the least I can do….but…I have a question…._

"uh, so why do you want us to be this close? To, um, "cuddle"? Jasper asked, the question a bit uncomfortable to ask.

She felt Peridot heat up in her grip "Uh, um…it's how I s-sleep with the other gems" Peridot confessed.

"O-Oh. Is that….how you learned to sleep? F-From the others, I mean" Jasper asked carefully. This time she was determined not to say anything bad about the Crystal gems and their strange, human-like habits.

"Yes. Steven taught me the basics since he is naturally required to get at least eight hours of sleep a night cycle to function properly when awake."

"Whoa, that's a lot of time wasted…er, I mean-"

"Yes, you would think so" Peridot said, unoffended. "But it is needed for continued survival. It's almost funny how us gems just use it to relax, when it is necessary for most carbon-based organisms"

"But most gems do not sleep" Jasper said, yawning despite herself.

"Yes, but here we do." Peridot said, sounding a little annoyed. Jasper felt bad. _Dammit..._

"R-Right" Jasper tried. "Um, so, who cuddles Rose-S-Steven? His bed looks like it can cater him and one other gem" Jasper awkwardly nodded to where she knew his empty bed was, up on the loft. The boy was currently sleeping over at Connie's.

Peridot fidgeted in Jasper's grasp. "Uh..um, nobody…." She said.

"But I thought you have to cuddle with someone to fall asleep"

"Y-You don't have to, J-Jasper" she struggled to say the other gem's name. "We-we don't always…b-but if w-want to, it's easier to fall asleep with someone next to us." Peridot tried to explain broadly, but she knew it applied to her the most.

"My mistake" Jasper said, trying to "comfort" Peridot and make her feel better, seeing as she seemed a little off just then.

"S-Steven's just really good at sleeping" she continued "I-I'm not really, but I like the activity very much" Peridot said, adjusting herself

"You aren't good at sleeping?" Jasper asked.

"Y-Yeah, my mind is too active, Amethyst said" Peridot explained. "It helps me shut down and sleep better when someone is holding me"

"S-So that's why you got me to hold you" Jasper realised "You-"

"A-And! And! I thought it might be the same for you!" Peridot interrupted, feeling embarrassed.

"T-Thanks then" Jasper said, seeing through her immediately. She decided to ignore the matter, as Peridot seemed to be strangely self-conscious about her struggle to sleep. _Maybe she feels isolated from the Crystal Gems when she knows she can't sleep. She wants to feel a part of them. Or, while everyone is asleep peacefully, she is awake, alone, with only her thoughts. And her thoughts scare her. She…She just wants peace of mind either way….._

Jasper felt saddened by this thought. It must have been terrifying, getting her form destroyed and being bubbled. She could imagine Peridot, alone in this hospitable world, tiny, and unable to fight. It made Jasper's struggle seem so small in comparison. And now, Peridot lived with the ones who caught her. She built a fully-functioning drill with them – from scratch. She played with them, she fought with them. She slept with them around her, holding her…

The orange gem pulled the smaller gem closer to her protectively, and curled up tighter around her. Peridot groaned sleepily, but nudged herself into the more comfortable grip "I'll help you" she wanted to say "I'll help you fall asleep. I'll be a better friend. I'll take the steps you took, and befriend these Crystal gems. Then I have less things to worry about, and I can spend more time with you. You are very important to me, remember that"

But all she said was "Goodnight Peridot, thankyou"

The orange gem tilted her head to watch Peridot. The younger gem was pretty much gone by then. She muttered something, and suddenly loosened up in Jasper's grasp.

 _We didn't even talk about my problems, I only realised that now. I think we talked more about yours. Hehe, you were always the selfish one._ She thought to herself, grinning. _But, it helped, anyway. Having something else to focus on, to think about. It was very interesting, the stuff you told me, and the things I learnt about you. And it gave me courage for tomorrow. Thankyou._

It took Jasper a while, listening to the small, even breathing of her companion. But, she eventually closed her eyes, and drifted to a restful sleep. She experienced a peace that she hadn't felt for quite a while.

* * *

Peridot woke up the next morning to the sun in her eyes, its rays tickling her and trying to wake her up. She sat up, immediately noticing the absence of her large, striped escort. She looked around for Jasper, missing her already. _She's gone again…._

Peridot turned around and was shocked by the indent Jasper had left on the couch. The cushions were pushed everywhere, and there was a body-shaped mark on the couch. _Well, at least I know she was here, and it wasn't just a dream. H-How did she get up without awaking me?!_ She jumped in thought.

"Whatever" she said aloud. She stood up, went outside, and took in the beach city air. It was comforting, like her.

"Thankyou Jasper" she whispered, smiling.

* * *

Not sure how ooc my characters were *cri*

But anyway, just the simple action of talking with someone can help. That's the message.

I went off of the comfort vibes from "Just a big teddy bear" and "Sad song" by CedeK18, who this is for. Check 'em out if you can! Both are Jaspidot fics - they are fun and full of sadness that gets comforted! I love especially how Peridot is the one determined to comfort Jasper! It's really cute! Also, Peridot comforts me when I write her, what a lovely gem!

*Peridot seethes with hatred at the other side of the room*

Oh. Anyway, Hope you enjoyed, and have a grande day! :D


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